I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We're too hungover to prance.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
