So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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