omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
no. you can't hotbox the world.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
