You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
