its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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