You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
