all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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