Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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