going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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