Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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