The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
