I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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