You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
