My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
