Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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