There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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