So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
