In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize