If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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