it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
