hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
