$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
