So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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