Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
