im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize