What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
