That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
