you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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