she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I am available for nakedness
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
