i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize