All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
