I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
