I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
