did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is it penis luge time yet?
Houston, we have a blender
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
