I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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