Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize