Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize