your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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