yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
