Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
