your thong is hanging out like whoa
false alarm. still invincible.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
