I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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