I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
