I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
