Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
