he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
