guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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