no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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