Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize