She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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