How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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