We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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