i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
