The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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