kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
