Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
