O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
