who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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