I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
