Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
