I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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