No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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