Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
