my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
