Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
this is an emotional support booty call
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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