your room smells of hookers.
And success
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
