party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
