Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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