i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
