i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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