You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
