I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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