I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just had sex bonerless
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you never un-have a 4some
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
