i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
