I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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